When Things Fall Apart (by Pema Chodron)
When Things Fall Apart
We knew the day would come. The day when you've just had enough of all this. Maybe you lost someone yourself or you know someone who did. Maybe your kids or your partner are finally driving you nuts. Maybe you just really miss Mexican food and listening to live music.
Having a toolbox for that moment is important. When it was time for me to reach for the toolbox this weekend, I found it was empty - the ones I'd be relying on just weren't cutting it. So it was time to build some new ones. That's when I remembered an old friend.
I first encountered Pema Chodron in my mid 20s, through one of the pocket sized books of her wisdom. Though we've never met in person, she's gotten me through some rough times. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times is her 1996 collection of essays on fear, bravery, and the assertion that we can find lasting peace and happiness by approaching suffering with curiosity and compassion.
These lines in the intro really sold me:
"If your life is chaotic and stressful, there's plenty of advice here for you.
If you're in transition, suffering from loss, or just fundamentally restless,
these teachings are tailor made."
~ Pema Chodron in the Introduction to When Things Fall Apart
Drops of Wisdom
Old friends have a way of showing up right when we need them, and this was no exception. This time it meant revisiting some wisdom I needed to hear. My major takeaways:
Fear is natural but shouldn't stop us. Bravery requires fear; but also asks for persistence.
When we run out of places to escape to we really have to confront ourselves - when things fall apart is when we learn how much of our world was an illusion. It's difficult to surrender to that moment; but that surrender is an exceptional teacher.
If we can meet that moment by getting quiet, connecting, and being compassionate, we can learn about ourselves, one another, and our world. What is real and what will grow us.
Seeking lasting pleasure, or looking to avoid pain, both lead to more suffering.
Negative emotion and significant challenge can be met as teachers if we're brave enough to overcome our discomfort and fear.
Pema also recently lead a meditation and answered questions via Tricycle.org. You can watch her recording here (scroll about half way down).
I hope this old friend brings you as much peace and guidance as it did to me. Stay healthy, friends.
THIS ARTICLE ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN THE BETTER THAN FINE NEWSLETTER.
YOU CAN SIGN UP HERE:
What you can expect: a few times a week I'll craft a newsletter with the best resources I can find to include:
Inspirational content and pragmatic optimism
Tips, suggestions, and useful links for your journey through uncertainty
Actionable information to help you craft a sustainable, meaningful, and purposeful life regardless of your individual challenges in this moment
Updates about what I'm working on and where you can find it