5 Tricks for Beginning Meditation
Meet Yourself Where You Are
5 Tools to Help Beginning Mediators
It happens a lot.
Probably more than you realize.
And it’s perfectly normal.
Someone tells themselves they want to start meditating (probably you if you’re reading this). They’ve heard it’s “good for them” or some podcaster they love talks about it. They decide to try it.
They sit down for a few minutes, fidget, feel uncomfortable, and after a few moments give up.
Or they make it a few days, miss a few more, and forget it for a week or two.
Ultimately, they decide it was a failed experiment and “doesn’t work for them”.
I can’t tell you how many times a client or friend has told me that they’re a “bad meditator” or admitted to me that they don’t know where to start. If this is you, here are the 5 strategies I use to help my student’s get un-stuck.
The most important thing about starting meditation is just to start.
1. Get comfortable
You don’t have to have a magic cushion or special incense just because Instagram told you so. Here’s a little story to that point -
Recently a well-meaning friend asked me about my meditation cushion. I said “I don’t meditate on a cushion, I use a stool in my room.” They were flabbergasted. I explained that with my chronic joint condition (I have EDS) it’s painful to meditate for longer than 5 minutes on a cushion. My friend started to tell me about the different cushions I could buy and how I might have used the wrong kind in the past.
I gently reframed that my stool is just fine.
What you do need is a physical space that feels good and safe to you. It should be quiet and calm (a big ask for some, I know!) and you should feel comfortable there. That’s it. If you’re physically uncomfortable when you first start you’ll fidget and give up.
Give yourself permission to be comfortable.
2. Start small
A few weeks ago I asked a new client how likely it was that they would sit quietly for 5 min every morning before looking at her phone. She admitted it wasn’t going to happen.
Ok, what about 4 min? Nope
3 min? Uh uh.
We ultimately settled on 2 minutes to start.
And you know what? That’s ok! She’s not the first one to need that as a launching point. You know what else? Every client I have ever had start with 2 minutes upgrades themselves to 3 or 4 by the end of the first week!
Your mind is going to resist change; and being a change to your mind, you will resist meditation at first. That’s ok! Start where you are and build up.
Give yourself permission to start small.
3. Experiment
12 years ago when I first started meditating I loved mantras! I would sit and chant and love the feeling of the words rolling in my mind. Somewhere along the way I switched to breath work, then focusing on my body, visualizations with my chakras, and guided Yoga Nidra from my teacher. Now? I can’t stand mantra work! It makes me restless!
Contrast this with the experienced meditators who have been doing Transcendental Meditation for decades! I applaud them.
Maybe you’re a very visual person and guided meditation is perfect for you. Or you’re a auditory person and chanting in a group will unlock something. Perhaps you love nature and listening to the sound of the rain will bring you peace and joy. Here are a list of apps for you to try:
Give yourself permission to experiment.
4. Make the Time
Do you schedule appointments with yourself? When you decide to make a new habit or take on a new practice it’s important that you make the time. Your circadian rhythm and mental habits have been built day after day; and now you’ll consciously choose to disrupt them. That is an important choice! The best way to ensure you stick to your guns is to own that you’ll have to make space and time in your life.
Will you get up earlier? Delegate the after dinner dishes to your partner or children? Choose a different breakfast that you don’t have to cook? How can you make time in your life for your practice?
Give yourself permission to make time for change.
5. Do what you can consistently do
Habit change psychology shows that our most effective habits are the ones we can repeat regularly. Think of each of your personal behaviors as a muscle ~ you’re either choosing you strengthen the muscle to change or the muscle to be more the same.
We all know the elder person who’s excited to try new things and has spent a lifetime changing and learning and growing. We also all know the elder person who has been set in their ways for decades and is resistant to try new things. Each of these people strengthened a set of mental habits and beliefs over decades by consistently making daily choices.
In order to create a new practice you must be able to consistently do it. Set your goal at what you know you can achieve with a moderate challenge. Perhaps it’s 5 minutes, once a day. Perhaps it’s less (or more). Meet yourself where you are.